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 Some Jokes from other forums

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Burnt_Toast
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PostSubject: Some Jokes from other forums   Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:01 pm

Little MARK on Maths

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little MARK.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little MARK says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little MARK replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."


Little MARK on maths (Part 2)

Little MARK returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic

"Why?" asks the father?

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies MARK.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE MARK ON ENGLISH

Little MARK goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

MARK says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little MARK, that's a mouthful."

Little MARK says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR

Little MARK was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go
to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, MARK, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
you to go."

Little MARK, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you
had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"


LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.

First, she called! on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little MARK.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"


LITTLE MARK ON GETTING OLDER

Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know
eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little MARK replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little MARK answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.
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mrbernard
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:35 am

hmmz... some i dun quite understand... -.-)

lolzzz especially the last one. lolzz.. opps
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rapidburn
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:27 am

lol.. its jus abt cheeky little kids i tink and the responses they gif.. -.-"
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euny
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:48 pm

mrbernard wrote:
hmmz... some i dun quite understand... -.-)

lolzzz especially the last one. lolzz.. opps

hm, the last one..

if i interpreted correctly, the boy is trying to tell the man to mind his fcuking own business if he wanted to live longer..

msg from boy
"so wad if im eating candy which will give me acne, rot my teeth, and make me fat? it's none of your fcuking business!"
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dawugui
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:39 am

Haha, saw this in another forum.

"A rooster in a farm died of old age and the farmer decide to go to the market to get a fresh stud. He found a handsome looking one and asked for the price.

Farmer: How much is dey chicken....

Merchant: oooo this is our magnificent golden gun dun drop super duper horny rooster... once u get him, your hens will scream like tortured %##^^s every day and nite.... u'll neva nid another stud.... and this strong gentleman is going for an affordable price of $5000?

Farmer: wtf? $5000 for a blardey chicken????

Merchant: oooo blarder....dun take my word for it....try him and u'll know his power..... if u are not satisfied with his performance u can return him in 3 days and i give ya a full refund blarder.....

Thinking he got nothing to lose, the farmer decides to take it....

Upon reaching home, the rooster immediately pounced into action and started screwing every available hen in the farm in lightning speed.

Sensing that the rooster may over exhaust itself on just the first day, the farmer caught hold of it and told him it will get itself killed at the rate it is going. But the rooster refused to listen, struggled free and went for the ducks, turkeys and geese....

The farmer gave up and thought to himself: blardy hell, I'm sure he'll be dead by tomorrow....there goes my freaking 5 grand....

the next morning, true enough, the farmer saw the rooster lying face flat on the ground lifelessly...... he decided that it is a sunk cost and decided to bury it.... As he approached the rooster,

Farmer: look what i told ya ya farking dumb chicken.... u farking deserve it u horny piece of @&!$

Rooster: shhhh.... the blardy vultures are coming down....
"

lol!
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liyun
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:43 am

LMAO~~~

some of the jokes are quite old... seen it alot of times.. but stil worth a laugh.. haha..

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memories
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:03 pm

hahaha nice jokes....
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Merre
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:56 am

uh...what's up with the rooster joke? The other ducks/hens died?
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memories
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PostSubject: Re: Some Jokes from other forums   Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:52 pm

hm if not wrong... i tink the rooster wanna go screw the vultures as well...lolx
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